sweetness.

i'm going to show you some of the raddest people i know.

elsie ally. my mate. she's pretty rad. because she likes the right tunes. watches the right shows. elsie ally. very, very rad.

anna kent. she's flipping hilarious. i don't really understand her humour. but i know it's there. she's made me feel so mega welcome at WCC for VET and yep. she's pretty flipping rad.









alex hutchison. the good kind of hutchison. anna will mock my life forever for putting him in here. but have you ever heard of 'mighty men' for God? alex is one of the mightiest men for God ever. and just plain mighty. i broke my hand punching his... bicep. (he taught me what all the muscles were called.)

amie beth. who is now eighteen. she's been my friend since year seven coz my sister paid her. she's pretty flippin rad. hence being mentioned. happy birthday ab.





okay. so that's just a few people who are pretty rad in my life. but whatever.


um. so i've been thinking about LOVE and how splendid that must be.
that special person who says 'i choose you' 'i love you' 'yes that does make you look fat' 'you're beautiful' 'go make me a vegemite sandwich'
yep. love is pretty great. there are pretty cool things in the bible about love.


one. there was this guy named Jacob and he saw a girl called Rachel, (i think her name was rachel) and then he saw her and thought she was so stunning and he walked over to her and kissed her. teared up a little bit and then asked her father if he could marry her. then his father said, work for me for seven years and you can marry her. he worked for seven years and then Rachels father tricked him and he married Rachels sister. but he loved rachel. so he worked for another seven years and then married Rachel.


two. moses, he was a bit of a loser, ran away from his home becauase he murdered someone, he had a bit of a speech impediment and notthing was going so great for good ol' moe. once he ran away he fell in love with the high priests daughter and they got married and went and served God together.

three. joseph and mary, well mary got pregnant and joseph was like... eh yeah sorry babe gotta bail coz he ain't my son. but joseph stayed and raised the boy as his son and loved him like a son. he stuck by mary.

four. there was a chick called hannah and she couldn't have children. this broke her heart as her husbands other wife had a bunch of sons. hannah was so broken hearted but then her husband said to her, 'don't i mean more to you than ten sons?' a son was like a prize and the best thing ever, and he wanted to mean more to her than what it meant to have a son.

well ain't those things so lovely?

my birthday is in 20 days.

what a day.

so i got a call from my mum at lunch time today telling me that my uncle was missing. that didn't make me feel so happy! i started crying, my friends came and gave me love and some of them prayed for me while i stood there in tears. then mum picked me up and just as she got to school she got a message from my grandma saying that after a bunch of not very happy hours my uncle was found. very good news. very naughty uncle!

anyway.


i have love for the love language test. i've done it a million times and i recommend everybody does it. it's purpose is to put a name to the way in which you feel most loved from others and then the way that you  feel best in sharing love.
my love language is: receiving gifts 

lucky my birthday is coming.

city and colour. forgive me.

 pixie lott. broken arrow.

my daily happenings.

my mum. Judith susan shaw. My best friend in the entire world. She understands how I’m feeling without me having to explain it. She’s really cool, my mum. There’s this one thing that we always have issues with though. She walks into my room and sees mess. I walk into my room and see my bed, some clothes… just my stuff chilling around my room, there’s no mess. She’s crazy. I don’t know if maybe it’s because I am blind in one eye, or because I’m not a mum, but even in the lounge room, she’ll say ‘we have to vacuum the floor!’ I look at the floor for a minute, trying to understand where this mess is that she wants vacuumed. ‘looks alright to me.’ I’ll say. Mum will just roll her eyes and hmph and hah at me. ‘the floor is so dirty! It’s disgusting!’ I don’t see it. Not at all, my mum is simply crazy. But that’s okay, because I love her anyway. Despite her being one of those crazy, can see dirty things, when they aren’t there, kinda people.

Today is my friend Kirra’s birthday. I’m actually with her right now. She’s really cool. Funny story. Me and kirra weren’t friends at all really throughout our first few years of high school but we went through really similar stuff. Rocking up to high school without any already made friends. Going through high school struggeling with friendship groups and all of those fun little things. Then we were both in CNS which was the most fun ever class in the world. We were sitting on some tables against a wall in the S block one day in this class and we were talking. I had said about how much I struggled to let myself feel loved by my friends. How I felt like I couldn’t trust any of my friends because my experience of friends is that they’ll only betray that trust. Kirra felt the same about herself. We realised that in the last few years we had gone through similar things and it was ridiculous that we weren’t friends before. Since then we’ve been friends! YES! She’s one of the funniest most fun ever people and I love hanging out with her. We have English together and we pretty much just laugh the entire time. She is such a blessing on my life and I thank God for her all the time.

happy birthday kirralee!

So something that I’m absolutely loving is How I Met Your Mother, it’s pretty rad. I love it. It’s funny. It’s… okay, it’s not that clean I won’t lie. But it’s funny. And it makes you just love the scummy boys that go around teasing girls and stuff. But oh he’s so cute and we love him. Rhahaha.

What else do we love kids? We love… Julian Smith!

1.       Kirra is the best

2.       Miiranda is pretty cool

3.       Elsie is the gayest person alive

4.       Hanging with Josh and Sam on Sunday was fun

5.       Mel Hallett is the coolest cousin going around.

6.       Being a bridesmaid is really fun

7.       We’ve got our flowers picked for our wedding

8.       I am going for my P’s soon!

9.       I turn eighteen in not very long

10.   I have my eighteenth birthday party soon

11.   My mum is making me chocolate ripple cake for my birthday

12.   Elsie currie is making me a birthday cake too

13.   Hanging with elsie on Friday is going to be rad.

14.   Kirra is the best.

15.   Oh I said that already

16.   Aw, well. Kirra is the best

17.   I love Kirra

18.   Did I mention Kirra?

19.   Oh look! Kirra’s name is in my blog!

20.   So many times, KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA.

KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA KIRRA

seminar2.

first of all. i spent my evening baking for my beautiful friend Kirra. I took everything out of the oven, checked that it was all cooked. It was perfect. I went back to them just then to see if they were cool enough to ice. They had all sunk. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand!


okay. meltdown over.


i'm a massively broken person. come from a 'broken' home. have had broken friendships, broken relationships, broken arms. i'm a broken person. i've allowed myself to be in the situation where i give people permission to break me. it's a teenager thing i believe. but i'm so far from perfect. none of this is self loathing, it's honest. i allow people to dictate how i feel and what i think of myself. i'm a broken, broken, broken person.
there's this dude in the bible, named paul he was pretty broken. he was aware of his inequeties and knew about how totally screwed up he was most of the time. he did however give this wonderful revolation.

"i will boast in my weakness, because when i'm week you are strong. in my weakness your power is made perfect."

so even though i am so ridiculously messed up. so so broken and hurt. i'm actually pretty okay. more than okay. because i have a GOD who loves me and who is strong when i am weak. and who loves me so much that his love for me held him onto a cross, to die for me, so that because he was broken but is fully restored, i too can be restored by him and through him.

1. my party is in 18 days.

2. i turn 18 in 22 days.

3. term 2 ends in 38 days.

4. tcac is in 47 days.

5. 55 days until the VCE formal.

so. elsie currie hates me today. because i woke her up 'in the middle of the night' by a text. now by 'middle of the night' that actually translates into 11:30. poor little currie.

SEVENTY FOUR DAYS UNTIL BEC AND MICHAEL GET MARRIED!

suntag.

today i woke up to my sister calling me. before 8 a.m. some people would love to wake up to their loving siblings. i simply groan, press reject and go back to sleep. so then she called mum. rad as move there rebecca louise. from then i got ready for church and headed off.

deliverer come set me free

break every chain holding me

deliver come have your way

i surrender to your rule and reign.

so, i'm praying right now that God gives me patience. patience when it comes to other people, when it comes to not knowing all of the answers, when it comes to teachers taking forever to mark my assessments. i need some patience in my life. not patients though. that would suck.

where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom

where the spirit of the Lord is there is healing

i've been filling out my application form for the school for youth leadership. it's actually sort of eye opening because some of the questions it asks me aren't just the surface questions that are easy to answer without any thought. what is my relationship with my family? messssed up. where will you be the year after you finish the school? um, yeah no idea. God? wanna answer that one? oh yeah. patience.

your blood is enough to break every chain

your blood is enough to break every chain

your blood is enough to break every chain

these fancy lights that you see in this building we call church? they do not serve a purpose. they may heighten your experience, they may make the experience more fun, more 'gen y'. but the lights are not there to worship. they are lights. when we have the lights and the fancy tech stuff, people are attracted to church, attracted to God? what brings people to church should be love. should be the Holy Spirit. not fancy lights, amazing tunes and hot preachers. they didn't have those things back in the bible when 2,000 people would get saved at a time. good yeah? yeah. i know.